Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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