Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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