I must be too annoying 4 u.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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