i don't like sucking hair
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
