I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
