I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
