i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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