i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
