Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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