I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
