I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize