he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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