i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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