I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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