her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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