Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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