oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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