I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
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We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And then he peed in my hair
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