apparently the secret to your success is patron
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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