just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
