I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
