it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize