I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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