Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
