Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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