redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
