my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
