This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
