Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
