I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
