Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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