so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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