she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
