I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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