Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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