Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
