Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
