I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
