I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
