Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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