They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
