p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
