Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think people are normalizing furries
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize