areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
