you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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