somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
