I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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