mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
