Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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