We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
40s are totally the cure
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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