All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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