38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
