The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
