As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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