I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
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you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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