There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
