This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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