i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
