Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
