At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
