On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
