I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
