Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
