Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
