I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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