Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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